Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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