The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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