Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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