i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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