just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
