i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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