I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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