Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize