so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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