WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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