Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
