Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
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All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
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You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize