Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize