About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I love having hate sex.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
