Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
