he looks like a really good dad on facebook
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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