I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
