How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm both gender and math confused
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
