YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
