Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
