I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I fill condoms, not promises.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Randomize
