i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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