We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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