he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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