i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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