new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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