remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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