Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Shame - the story of my life.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
