so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
