please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
