so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
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She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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