I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
