the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
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