You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
