Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
