I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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