Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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