no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
