Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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