Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
