she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
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I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
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There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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