Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
