It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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