WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
