I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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