new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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