And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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