just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
