Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
