good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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