Screwed.edu
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
