Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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