I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
