Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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