just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
