i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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