it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize